ANCESTRY PART ONE

Dear Isabella,

I think it is important to remember those in your family that came before you and the things that they experienced. It is important to ask (and think) about their lives to get a better sense of direction for our own lives.

It is also important to remember that it is not a "competition," and we shouldn’t measure the value of our lives by comparing them to the accomplishments of others, as we each face unique challenges and have differing interests. However, the lives of our ancestors can provide us with bits of wisdom, and a unique look into the past that we can use as we deem appropriate. Also, their lives might represent more difficult and challenging times that took courage and hard work to overcome. You get the point.

Of course, when it comes to family, one would hope that this type of interest is just a reflection of the close family ties that develop in a truly caring environment where love is not in question. In this type of environment, family relationships are powerful producers of strength and self-respect. They are powerful producers of direction, the freedom to take chances, and (most important of all) happiness.

I "probably" feel this way about the potential power of "family" because I didn’t have an ideal environment when I was growing up. I spent a good amount of time on my own. My parents were divorced when I was six months old. [I wonder if this is a record or something for getting divorced after a child is born???] The grandparents were, of course, disappointed and let it show. Basically, my parents were from traditional families of modest means, so things were not easy after the divorce.

I didn’t see my father for the next 12 or so years, and really know very little about him to this day. Moreover, I would say that I didn’t have that much “quality” time with my mother, as she was very busy working, going to college, and dating [yuck!!!]. This last one was particularly difficult for me at times. I often felt like an outsider and had one too many nights sleeping on someone's couch.

[Gross, hah? But these feelings of being an outsider still linger, still seem real to me these many years later. Of all the mistakes my mother made with me, the mistake of not shielding me from her adult relationships was particularly excruciating. I had already lost one parent, which for some reason I internalized as my fault, and now it seemed like I had to compete with men just to keep my mother interested in being a "mom".

These feelings did not subside until one 6th-grade evening at her boyfriend's house (go figure) when I just stop caring. I can still remember that instant in great detail to this day. This is probably a classic example of how the mind deals with overwhelming stimulants, trauma. Where is Freud when you need him???

I think our relationship could have survived better, but for this one mistake made over and over again. Somewhere along the line I just got tired of feeling like I was a burden; I just stopped caring. Now I work each day to make sure that I don't repeat the same mistakes; to make sure you know that I love you Isabella and your mom. I work to alter the repetitive nature of my misfortunes. It is challenging, but a valuable goal.]

My mom was able to make something of herself, and she did put a roof over my head and keep my belly full most of the time. When I think about the things that she was able to accomplish, given her background and very limited resources, I am impressed.

After I was born, my mother went back to school to get her high school diploma; she was clearly very young when she got pregnant. [Did I mention that she ran away from home and spent a night (or so) in jail while she was six months pregnant after being caught by the police attempting to cross the border? Young and on the run! I hear there are several goods stories about that time.]

After HS, she continued working hard trying to provide as a single parent, and attended a community college. After a few years, she was accepted to Berkeley. Again, attending college was generally the exception on my mom's side of the family; even though her brother did go to the University of Hawaii (for seven years or so -- just joking Jan!). I am not really sure what caused her to push so hard, or how she knew to push so hard.

I have many crazy memories at Berkeley and spent a great amount of time on my own. It was the first time I got drunk (and vomited) at a college function [and all before the second grade, yikes!!!]. It was the first time I smoked a cigarette. And, as I recall, I spent a good amount of timing roaming the campus and causing "trouble." Let's just keep it at that just in case the statute of limitations hasn't run. :) Needless to say, I could write a book about my time at Berkeley, and I was just a kid, a baby.

I also think I developed a real potty mouth at this time too [oops!!!]. And, it was during this time that I first remember feeling "green about the gills" about my mother's boyfriends.

I am not particularly proud of all these facts, or my young memories, but I wasn’t afforded the luxury of having sufficient adult direction when it came to making certain choices. Basically, I had to learn the hard way, and made many mistakes as I grew up.

At the end of the day, it was not what I would call a stable household and lacked the constant nurturing feedback or "molding" that is ideal in shaping a young mind. However, I know that there are many kids out there that have had much more difficult childhoods (with physical abuse, etc.) and my experiences could have been much worse. Some were uncomfortable, but I persevered.

After Berkeley, my mom and I were off to Cambridge / Boston where my mom attended graduate school at MIT. Again, my memories of this time are filled with craziness, and too many uncomfortable moments involving my mom's boyfriends (and putting "things," like frozen orange concentrate, in the pockets of their jackets -- hee hee; I was a real troublemaker!).

I do think that the fact that my mom was able to work very hard and get into one of the all-time-great universities (without getting any financial help from her parents) is an accomplishment that she can be proud of, and is probably a turning point for my mom's side of the family in which education became more important than maybe it had been. It at least gave me some unique insight into the fortunes of hard work and the beauty of the liberties that this country makes available to us all -- if we work hard enough and keep a positive attitude.

[Of course, that said, I don't think we have any cousins, etc., that have pursued college so vigorously (and nothing like your mom's family), but then again my side of the family has only been in this country for 200 years or so. We probably need another 100 years before we really bust out. Plainly stated, my mom and I appear to be aberrations so I don't really know where the academics came from. Maybe the focus should be that my side of the family is ingenious; even if we are not "geniuses" like your mom’s side. But, then I don't think either is more important than being a "good," thoughtful person; and this is certainly not always easy to do today. It takes much more work to be thoughtful than just using your natural talents to earn a living.]

Five years after we moved to the east coast, we moved back to Seattle and I entered the 7th grade. Man the "stories" I lived. Some day I will tell you about them.

In Seattle, I only spent a handful of weekends with my dad. Therefore, I really don’t know that much about my father or his parents. Based on how easily his parents condemned the divorce and effectively “disowned” all parties involved, I always considered them to be very callous, hard. Maybe it was just the times? Unfortunately, I just don't know. But then again I still don't understand why there isn't more good, forgiveness inherent in people, even myself.

Quite frankly, given the characteristics of my dad’s “cold” Swedish parents (and his so so cousins) and my mom’s "bantering" Irish side, I always felt a little out of place; or never quite fully understood where I acquired my characteristics. But this is probably normal given that I spent so much time on my own. Or maybe we all feel like this, just a bit? [I should say that my mom's side of the family did accept me and are good people, but this doesn't change how I feel -- or help my relationship with my mom.]

Let’s just say that at the end of the day, all I really know about my ancestry is that on my mom's side we came from “bootleggers” (so says my mom). Seriously, I know we are Irish, but need to learn more.

[I have gathered a list for this side of the family (thanks to my mom's sister Sally), but need time to understand all the links.

Here is an update from Sally:

"I have a book on our ancestors that has 5000 names and descriptions in it. It starts back in the 1700's. We're related to Rev. John Gerard, from West Virginia. The Gerard house still survives to this day, built by John Hays in 1743. It became the home of David Gerard, a minister, who was the founder of Gerrardstown. We have many ministers in our family, and a lot of landowners. The people I received this book from have managed to disappear, but if there is a way, I will make a copy of this book [which is 809 pages] for the family someday. I think you would find it very interesting."]

With that said, I need to spend some more time researching, or trying to understand where my dad "came from." This will not be an easy task, but I think it is important in not only filling in some blanks for me, but also in providing a better sense of family for you. Wish me luck.

I also want to take some additional time to contemplate what I went through before I further summarize it in this blog. Explaining this is important, as it molded (good or bad) who I am today. Quite frankly, there was not too much "molding," so I do feel very fortunate to have the life I now have. But there isn't a day that goes by where I really feel truly whole. Poor parenting? [Oh, poor me, but I digress.]

One thing I learned the hard way about parenting, long before you were ever born, is just how important a "job" it really is; a job that not only builds minds, but also molds spirits and futures. It is a job that requires selflessness and is not to be entered into lightly. I think too many people become parents for selfish reasons; for reasons that truly ignore the needs of the infant or ask what is best for the baby before the pregnancy. The first question should always be can we provide a sufficiently healthy environment for any "baby" we might have? And not, am "I" ready to have a kid? Do you see the difference?

In the process of attempting to determine more about myself, I have also been collecting information about your mom’s parents and grandparents. As I discover more, I will post summaries of what I find in this blog to start memorializing your family tree. Wish me luck!!!

Long story short, I married up, way up. Let us just say that your mother comes from a long line of overachievers! I guess we lucked out . . . I guess in the end I really lucked out.


Your Mom Holly:

Hopefully you will learn all you need to know about your mom directly from her. She is about as close to perfect of a person that I have come across, and I have met all types. I imagine her family, faults and all, had a lot to do with how special she turned out. Our relationship is still the only thing that gives me faith (besides you, of course).

Speaking of faith, it is cool to trace the path of her life and compare it to mine. See for yourself.

Your mom was born in California in 1968. The family home was actually in Lexington, MA at the time. So soon after her birth (and some additional family travel time) she returned with her family to the family home in Lexington. In 1981, she moved to Florida. She graduated from high school in 1987, and entered Boston University in the fall. We formally met (even though she had her eyes on me for a while) in the fall of 1990.

My time line has some interesting parallels to your mom's. I was born in Seattle in 1968. My mother and I (along with her parents) moved to Chicago in 1970 (or there about). My mother and I then moved to Berkeley in 1973 (or there about). Next, we moved to Boston in 1975. My mom went to the school where your mom's dad taught. And, your mom's oldest sister also went to this school at the same time. Given that I was all over this campus causing trouble, I imagine we "might" have seen one another.

We lived in Boston until 1980, at which point we move back to Seattle. I lived in Seattle until I entered Boston University. At Boston University, I gave a presentation at one of your mother's classes. This is the first time she laid her eyes on me, even though we didn't formally meet until the next year.

I need to put down more of my life memories before I forget them.

Your mom's dad is Louis N. Howard. Enclosed is an "academic" summary about your grandfather Louis.

Dr. Louis N. Howard -- McKenzie Professor Emeritus of Mathematics and Affiliate Professor of Mechanical Engineering:

Louis Howard received his Ph.D. (1953) and M.S. (1952) from Princeton University and his B.S. (1950) from Swarthmore College. Following a year as a Higgins Lecturer at Princeton University, and a year as a Research Associate at the California Institute of Technology, he joined the Department of Mathematics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in 1955. [Overachiever!!!]

He joined the Department of Mathematics at Florida State University in 1981, and became an Affiliate Professor of Mechanical Engineering in 1987.

He is a member of the National Academy of Sciences, American Academy of Arts and Sciences (Fellow); and American Physical Society. He is also a Guggenheim Foundation Fellow (1961), a Sloan Foundation Fellow (1962), and a Fairchild Scholar (1976).

Professor Howard's research interests are in large-scale flows in turbulent convection, Hele Shaw cell flows, salt-finger zones, and mathematical modeling of numerous fluid and geophysical fluid dynamics phenomena. [Huh???]


My dad Steven. He got remarried and had two more boys named Oria and Leif. More on this later. [Not an overachiever; but my mom has told me that he was a good poet, artist.] Oria has a "myspace" page!


Your mom's mother is named Alice Gayley Stone [Skillman]. Enclosed is a summary for your grandmother "Gay".

Alice Gayley Stone:

Gay received her B.S. in around 1950 from Swarthmore College. She received a masters from the University of Wisconsin and a Ph.D. from Rutgers University in 1954 (in "Plant Physiology"). I understand that she attended a class at Princeton being taught by Einstein. [Cool!!!]

Gay is also actually related to Charles Mills Gayley. They are cousins (once removed on Gay's side). Charles was a famous English professor at Berkeley. In 1892, Professors Joseph Le Conte and Charles Mills Gayley were the first to lecture in Los Angeles under the auspices of the "University Extension" -- for which Gayley Avenue at UCLA was so named? Or maybe just because Le Conte, Gayley, and Hilgard were all professors at Berkeley? Charles was also a Dean . . .

More on this later -- I am going through the Gayley, Skillman, etc., family book at this time.

Gay married Louis and had the following children:

Astrid Harriet [MIT, Caltech]
Erik Richard was born on 21 June 1960. He died on 21 June 1960 [or 24 June?]
Emily Anne
Frederick [BU, NMLS]
Holly [BU, USC]


My mom Patricia. She had one more boy (when I was 27!) named Galen. Her oldest son [me!] had the fortune of becoming the first one in the family to graduate at the top of his class at Boston University. He also became the first attorney in the family, and is also the only one in the family to hold two master degrees (go Bruins!!!). Your dad did okay for himself; and all that he cares about is your happiness [as long as you stay away from boys until you are 18!!!].


Enclosed is an "academic" summary for your mother’s father’s father; or your great grandfather. His name was Louis B. Howard. I should add that Louis Howard was somehow related to Samuel J. Hayes -- who was the second cousin of Rutherford B. Hayes. I am still trying to put together the pieces. According to your mother, there is also a link to Catherine Howard, Queen of England. [I think she is just making this stuff up now!!! Really, aren't we all related to Catherine Howard or something? Please!]

Louis B. Howard -- Dean of University of Illinois College of Agriculture from 1954 to 1965:

Louis Howard was a 1927 graduate of Purdue University. He obtained M.S. and Ph.D. degrees from the University of Chicago in 1928 and 1931. He was well known for his research on food processing [and held a patent on dehydrofreezing] and was awarded a Certificate of Appreciation from the U.S. Army in 1952 for his contributions to the food program during World War II.

In Howard's own words, "Almost the entire first year was spent in developing a curriculum, assembling key staff members, and preparing the outline and basic information for the first two courses -- Food Technology 201 and 202. I personally taught these courses beginning the following fall semester and spring term. We were pleasantly surprised to find an enrollment of about 20 students including two girls, who had already met the prerequisites for the course."

Howard made two key "early departmental" decisions. One was to keep the dairy technology program unaltered. The other was to not take over the meat science program from the Animal Science department. Instead, it was Howard's decision to focus the department on other aspects of commercial food processing -- canning, freezing, dehydration, wet-milling, dry-milling, pickling and brining, production of alcoholic beverages, confections and other specialized items.

Howard's teaching philosophy was "not to develop individual specialties but to give students a thorough foundation in the applicable sciences and an introduction to specific types of processing. At the current stage of development of the food industry [1948] it was important that students have a strong foundation in mathematics, chemistry and in microbiology. Only after this background had been soundly achieved were the students to start on the more specific courses of food technology."

Two other departmental factors should be mentioned. With the transfer of dairy technology faculty to the new department, Dairy Husbandry became the Department of Dairy Science under Dr. Glenn Salisbury. Also, meat science at that time was presided over by the legendary Sleeter Bull, an articulate and compelling spokesman for the meat industry, author of textbooks, coach of the Meats judging team and an excellent teacher known for his wit -- his examinations would have questions such as: "Who is the Dean of the College of Agriculture?” The Dean would then be informed about the various answers to this question, which were sometimes quite amusing.

At that time, there were about five other formal food technology departments in the country. This was a relatively new field and thus it is not surprising that people from other disciplines would form the nucleus of the department in its early years.

The growth of the department over the years put a strain on physical facilities, which led to the situation of having department faculty spread out over several buildings on campus. Howard was offered a whole building for the new department, but it was the old boiler house used for heating campus buildings in the College of Engineering. Instead it was decided to utilize space in the Animal Sciences building for the food microbiology and food chemistry programs and the Horticultural Field Laboratory where someone could begin setting up the foundation of a food processing pilot plant.

Howard and the main office of the department were in Mumford Hall. Thus, the early history of the department essentially centers on activities in various buildings and the programs of teaching and research that they supported.

In 1952, Howard became Associate Director of the University of Illinois Agricultural Experiment Station. Howard became dean of the College of Agriculture from 1954 to 1965. He returned to D.C. the following year as director of the International Rural Development Office of the National Association of State Universities and Land-Grant Colleges until 1968.

Howard died in 1990 in Florida.


Enclosed is a summary for your mother’s mother’s father; or your great grandfather. His name was Hosmer W. Stone.

Hosmer W. Stone -- Chemistry Professor at UCLA:

Hosmer Stone was born in Kalamazoo, Michigan, on September 26, 1892. He received his early schooling there. After spending two years at Kalamazoo College he transferred to the University of Wisconsin where he received the B.A. degree in 1916 and the M.A. in 1918. With the advent of World War I, he became a second lieutenant in the Army Sanitary Corps, serving first at Rockefeller Institute in New York City, then at the Base Hospital, Camp Sevier, South Carolina.

After the war he returned to the University of Wisconsin and earned the Ph.D. degree in 1921, just in time to accept a position in the Chemistry Department at the emerging Southern Branch of the University of California. He was one of the original six members of the Chemistry faculty who were responsible for the philosophy of teaching, characterized by emphasis on principles and high standards of performance, for which the UCLA Department continues to be noted.

Hosmer's philosophy of teaching can be simply stated as, “Let us reason together.” He was among the first to abandon detailed descriptive and “cook book” chemistry in favor of a problem-solving approach to the subject. He gave frequent quizzes involving numerical problems based upon chemical principles. Students in his classes soon found that they could not depend on memory alone but had to reason logically from given data. They were trained to become self-reliant since most laboratory assignments involved a different unknown for each individual and, hence, no student could use his neighbor as a crutch.

This pioneering method of teaching generated new groups of laboratory assignments which Dr. Stone published as successive manuals, first with the collaboration of M. S. Dunn and later with J.D. McCullough. Important features of those manuals were the thought-provoking questions and numerical problems pertaining to the assignments.

Hosmer expected a high level of performance from his students and was careful to hold himself to the same standards. As the thousands of students he had over the years may recall, in lecture demonstrations he never hesitated to resort to the spectacular in order to emphasize a chemical principle. He was an exacting but also an understanding teacher. To him no problem was more important than the one which puzzled a sincere student.

Historically, it is interesting to note that because of a fire in the fall of 1928 in the Chemistry Department on the Vermont Avenue campus, the Chemistry building on the new site was rushed to completion and Chemistry was moved there ahead of the rest of the University; and at 8 a.m., March 18, 1929, Professor Hosmer Stone conducted the first class ever to be taught on the Westwood campus.

In June 1927, at Mountainhome, Pennsylvania, Professor Stone married Emma Skillman, a nurse whom he had met while serving in the Army. For forty years thereafter, campus life at UCLA was enriched by the presence of this team, affectionately known as “Hosmer and Skilly.” They shared their home generously with everyone, but especially with young new faculty members and students far from their own homes.

Hosmer enjoyed research, but, because of his generous open-door policy toward his hundreds of undergraduate students, he found little time for it during the academic terms. However, he always had projects going to which he could return, mostly between terms and during leaves of absence. Eventually, they led to over 35 substantial publications, largely in the field of Inorganic Chemistry but also in Chemical Education. His original method for the removal of traces of oxygen from gases by the use of divalent chromium is one of the best available and has received world-wide application.

Dr. Stone conscientiously strove to keep abreast of his rapidly changing field and took advantage of every sabbatical leave opportunity, often at considerable financial sacrifice, to study in leading academic and research centers. The first of these in 1932 was spent at the University of Minnesota. Others were spent at the University of Copenhagen (1939), Massachusetts Institute of Technology (1950), and Cambridge University, England (1957).

His reputation as an innovator and make-do chemist led to the selection of Professor Stone by the United States Army in 1945 to help organize, and to teach in, the Chemistry Department of the hastily conceived American University established in Shrivenham, England.

In addition to his teaching and research, Dr. Stone served the University and the community in many other ways. He held innumerable appointments on standing and special Academic Senate committees. In like manner, he served the Chemistry Department where his constructive criticisms and cooperative spirit were much appreciated. During World War II he was Area Six Commander of the Disaster Preparedness Plan. He acted as judge at numerous Science Fairs throughout California, served often on high school accreditation committees for the University, and was called upon frequently to give chemistry demonstration lectures in high schools and before the Boy Scouts and other youth groups. He was active in the local section of the American Chemical Society and frequently gave research papers at its national meetings. He was particularly interested in the Pacific Southwest Association of Chemistry Teachers and presided as its Chairman in 1959.

Retirement in 1960 brought new challenges and opportunities to the Stones. After an eleven month world tour they returned to England where Hosmer was a guest research chemist at Cambridge for eight months. When they returned home Hosmer accepted an appointment as Fulbright Visiting Professor of Chemistry in Taiwan Normal Provincial University, Taipei, Taiwan, for the academic year 1962-63. This venture culminated in a second trip around the world. After a couple of happy years in his research laboratory at UCLA, Hosmer was again tapped for a Fulbright professorial appointment, this time for 1965-66 at the University of Alexandria in Egypt.

Hosmer loved the out-of-doors. He took great pleasure in caring for his own garden and enriched the tables of a host of friends with avocados from his trees. He was in tune with our Western mountains, and those of us who have had the good fortune to share a pack trip in the High Sierras with the Stones have wonderful memories to be cherished always. Hosmer was an expert with the diamond hitch and carefully taught newcomers to respect the business end of a mountain mule. He was forethoughtful and ingenious; when caught on the high trail toward the end of August he never failed to improvise means to bake a birthday cake for his dear wife, Skilly.

Hosmer worked in his laboratory until the very hour in which he was struck by an automobile on campus. He died November 17, 1967, without ever regaining consciousness. He is survived by his wife, his daughter, Gayley (Mrs. Louis Howard of Lexington, Massachusetts), and three grandchildren.

His was a full and fruitful life. He has left a warm imprint on the hearts of all who knew him. The lives of thousands of friends and former students throughout the world have been enriched because in the early days he chose to come to California.


Enclosed is a work in progress summary for your mother’s grandmother Emma Van Cleve Skillman.

Emma Van Cleve Skillman:

Emma was born on 26 August 1893 in Orchard Knoll, Mountain Home, PA.

She graduated in Jun 1918 from Combs Conservatory of Music. She received a degree in nursing (R.N.) from the School of Nursing in May 1922.

She died on 15 April 1993 in Santa Barbara, CA. She was also known as Skilly.

Emma and Dr. Hosmer Ward Stone were married on 18 Jun 1927 in Mountainhome, PA. Their only child was Alice Gayley Stone.